Several years ago I had an excellent personal trainer named Jamie who was always telling me, “Relax your shoulders.” When I would begin any upper body exercise, she could see that my shoulders were somewhere up around my ears.
Most of the time I wasn’t even aware that I was that tensed up. But it was very clear to this young woman, whose job it was to help me use proper form and burn off stress at midday so that I could go back to work and soak up more of it.
Jamie’s refrain stuck with me and has helped me in ways she may never have realized. When I sit down to meditate now, the last thing I tell myself before I start focusing on my breath is, “Relax your shoulders.”
There they are. Up near my ears again.
Why are they always up there? How long have they been there? This morning as I became aware of the tension and lowered my shoulders, I had a mental picture of myself as a marionette, my shoulders tethered to and controlled by problems. I asked my husband, Jimmy, to do a simple drawing of it.
Who’s pulling those strings? It doesn’t matter, really. What matters is that I become aware of the pull, the tightness. I don’t want to live my life controlled by worry, bad memories, stress and fear. When I relax my shoulders, I am cutting the strings that bind me to those things.
It’s a tiny shift in perspective that can make things feel a lot lighter and better in the moment. When you relax your shoulders, your problems become a bit smaller. Your heart opens up to receive a little more peace.
Try it. Right now as you read this. Did you feel your shoulders—maybe even your mind—ease and settle just a little bit?
Problems will always be there. More are undoubtedly right around the corner. We have a choice to live in perpetual fear of and reaction to them. Or we can see them for what they are, right size them and invite in a moment of calm. That choice is something I’m going to continue to experiment with.
I hope your strings aren’t being pulled today. If they are, I hope this post gives you a way to untie the knots and feel a moment of peace.
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